They say that there are friendships that last forever, but the truth is that with the passage of time, the weight (phonetic redundancy) of routine and the desire to build a solid family of two with children, this desire to remain close may diminish, as well as the desire to continue to be an active part of each other.
Friendship, like all human relationships, has strong moments, then gradually loses its intensity. It is up to us, of course, to maintain this link. But sometimes things don’t turn out the way we want them to, and that’s no one’s fault: that’s how life is.
And indeed, friendships are a source of spiritual, psychological and social wealth to be cherished. They should not be underestimated compared to family relationships, which are given to us. They are the friends who support us in the storms of life, and the best friends are those who seek nothing in return or who can share moments without having to do anything specific. Just be there. In good times and bad, but not in sickness and in health (as they say in a serious tone about those who marry).
Maybe you have a favorite board game you haven’t played in a long time, or a bar you always went to years ago.
Strong friendships are not only good for psychological health, but also for physical health. In fact, a study published in Plos One a few years ago revealed that being connected to a social circle is as good for physical health as quitting smoking or as important as exercising and not being obese. The deep and innocuous moments spent with friends help us through the easy and the difficult times. They are also a source of humor, which is very healthy for dealing with the difficulties that come our way.
But what can you do to keep them by your side so the ups and downs of life don’t tear you apart? It can be as simple as thinking about spending more time together. But the classic let’s have a coffee together“, which means ” we will see each other one day“, does not work here. Both must do their part and, to some extent, make efforts so that the relationship does not wither away over time and each other’s habits. Andy Proctor, one of the world’s leading psychologists specializing in the impact of good friendships on physical and mental health, published in Psychology Today a list of the most useful tips for maintaining a friendship in times of work and hellish routine. I’m sure some of them will inspire you to reconnect with someone you love.
Keep the rituals
I’m sure there’s a movie or a series that has always defined you, especially those that form a saga, like The Lord of the Rings or Star Wars. One of the best ways to ensure that a friendship does not die out is to maintain the rituals that marked your childhood or your youth. And, in that sense, these kinds of cultural products always end up releasing new episodes to savor with those who are as big fans as you are.
Think about the best memory you have together. I’m sure afterwards you’ll want to know how it is…
Maybe these movies or series come out once in a while and you want to make up for lost time on a more regular basis. Maybe you have a favorite board game you haven’t played in a long time, or a bar you always went to years ago. If you are separated by spatial distances, you could set one day a week to talk to each other on the phone. You can also make a video call, which we used to do often not so long ago. The point is to feel close to the other person, and while it’s not easy to fall into imperatives to keep your friendship afloat, if you really value their company, the when, the how and the where do not necessarily matter.
Make friends who are older than you
We tend to think that building trust and friendship is very difficult once we get older. In reality, this is a rather negative prejudice, since friendships can develop between anyone, regardless of their situation or age. It’s about, as Proctor puts it, learning from those who have a perspective different from his own. You may disagree on a lot of things on a generational level and that can be a hindrance, but building an intergenerational friendship is inspiring because it will help you think about what you want in your life from now or she can serve as an example for you to follow.
Befriend a friend from the past
If you become an adult and suddenly find yourself friendless, one of the best tactics for getting your social life back on track is to try to reconnect with the past. A simple text message or phone call can pick up where you left off. ” Think about the best memory you have together“, says the psychologist. I’m sure after thinking about it, you feel a desire to know how he is doing, where he lives, who he lives with, or in general what his life is like. The only thing you have to keep in mind, and that’s a bit hard to accept, is that she’s probably changed, so you don’t have to have the same relationship as before. In this case, it will be more exciting to get it back, because it will be like getting to know each other again from scratch.
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