“It’s not easy being a single mom, especially in the summer when everyone is taken care of by their families. The year also we are isolated. We have little time and means to look after our children and we are rarely invited, even by Catholics. » Around breakfast, the other mothers nod. Armelle (1)a 35-year-old housewife with two children aged 5 and 3, summed up their situation well.
These nine women have heard of holidays for single mothers in August, five days at the sanctuary of Alençon. Young children are taken care of, in a place on a human scale. The five days being very affordable financially thanks to major donors, they did not hesitate.
During a break, they tell each other openly. Some have had a baby on their own, others are separated or divorced. Weakened or combative, doctoral students or carers, mistreated by an ex-spouse or protected by an understanding entourage… these women have such different situations that one wonders how they can find a common answer to their quest. No doubt thanks to the faith that carries them, even if some admit “a little angry with the Good Lord”. At the end of the five days, the nine mothers feel “treated like queens”and leave “fed and refreshed”.
The burdens lay down
The success of the session is undoubtedly due to two factors. First, the proposed formula. Built by the sanctuary team and enriched over the years, this fourth edition strikes the right balance between rest, spiritual life and topos. The mornings are reserved for teachings, like this testimony of life of Dominique Saurel, during which several eyes redden. This listener of the sanctuary indeed recounts her marital failure and her difficulty in raising adolescents injured by the breakup, then her happy remarriage after a nullity of marriage difficult to conquer. The conference of Sister Cécile, from the sanctuary of Montligeon, specialized in mourning, addresses the delicate question of forgiveness, with a path in seven stages. These interventions raise questions: “Where can I find the relays you speak of? », “How to speak to his child of a father who did not want to recognize him? ». The burdens are laid down and the answers of one help the other.
During these mornings, sixteen children play in the garden. Divided into three age groups, they are cared for by a battalion of volunteers: young girls, nuns and seminarians from the Saint-Martin community. In addition to times of prayer and short spiritual teachings, the latter offer them a treasure hunt or a visit to a chocolate factory.
Louis and Zélie Martin, an inaccessible model couple?
The success of this session is also due to the spirituality of a place whose mission is to support and accompany the family, whatever its form. “As the single-parent family is a reality that affects many mothers, it seemed to us a priority to devote one of our seven annual proposals to them”, says the rector, Father Thierry Hénault-Morel. One might be surprised that mothers who experience marital failure can fortify themselves through contact with Louis and Zélie Martin. These holy spouses, canonized together in 2015, don’t they offer an inaccessible model of couple? “On the contrary, they propose a sanctification of everyday life, simple and concrete. Their life speaks to everyone”adds the rector.
The guided tour of their house proves him right. The unbeatable permanent deacon Guy Fournier, with his historical and spiritual vision of the place, evokes a family with contemporary concerns: repeated ordeals with four children who died at a young age, professional difficulties, physical and mental illnesses, exhausted mother, night of faith … But the prayer of the Martins acts and gives answers, and their story inspires the retreatants.
On the way back, they evoke an episode that marked them. “Leonie, the Martin’s daughter, for me it’s my son Nicolas”explains Caroline, sometimes helpless in the face of her child with Down syndrome. “Knowing that there are men like Louis, ready to leave his job to support his wife, gives me confidence”adds Sophie. “It helps me to believe that a path is possible, despite my situation”, concludes Armelle. They feel less alone, carried by the spiritual strength of the Martins, that of hope.
(1) The first names have been changed.