A 36-year-old father, Benoît Fayol has written and contributed to several books on catechesis or training for catechists, notably at Éditions Mame.
Aware of the lack of interest or motivation of a large majority of adolescents and young adults with regard to the Sunday Eucharist, he has just published, with this publisher, Why am I going to mass? Letter to my goddaughter and her friends. Maintenance.
What is the genesis of your book?
My sister-in-law called me for help one day: “Your goddaughter is reluctant to go to mass, she gets bored there and she asks questions that I don’t know how to answer. As a sponsor, can you help me? » At the time, in my last year of seminary, I was studying Orthodox authors whose theological method seemed interesting to me. They followed the liturgy as it unfolded and drew from it reflections of faith, spiritual life and moral life.
This approach has two advantages: you already have the plan in mind that comes naturally to you, and when you return to Mass, your prayer is enriched by what you have read. So I started looking for such a book for my goddaughter. In vain. So I decided to write him a long letter which I then gave him in the form of a book. A few years later, I talked about it to Éditions Mame, where I participated in the writing of catechism books; I had meanwhile left the seminary. It is therefore this somewhat condensed letter that appears today.
So it is much more than a simple explanation of the mass?
I address myself to all those who think they know the Mass by heart and have nothing more to receive there, to tell them: “You don’t realize the spiritual and catechetical richness of the Eucharistic liturgy! In the space of an hour, you receive everything you have to know, to believe, to live. » In fact, the Mass is an extraordinary concentrate of the Christian faith. Everything is there. It is still necessary to take the time to restore meaning to each of the words and to each of the gestures of the liturgy, the ultimate goal of which is charity, that is to say, union with God. And that’s what this book is all about.
As parents, how do you instill a taste for mass in your children?
One of the mistakes that parents often make (and I make this mistake myself being the father and stepfather of five daughters!) is to think that faith is an education theme like any other. Now, it seems to me that in this matter, it is a question for the parents of being missionaries and not instructors. We must be obsessed with the consistency of our own behavior, with our exemplarity, our fidelity, with our holiness in a word. The rest is secondary.
I like to take the example of Bernadette Soubirous. From the first appearances, thousands of people came to see the shepherdess in relation to someone whom they did not see. It was Bernadette’s prayer that attracted the crowds and convinced them that the Virgin was indeed there. So, rather than being turned towards our children, rather than bothering them or forcing them, let us turn towards God. Let them see us praying, and then they will deduce that there is someone. They will make the link themselves… or not! It is their freedom to believe or not to believe.
Is leading by example enough?
This is essential, because by witnessing daily to our need to be saved, we can make others thirsty, starting with our children. But it is also necessary to accompany the intelligences gradually, and this requires a certain catechetical and psychological formation. For 10 or 15 years, for example, your child accompanies you to church on Sundays and, one fine day, he calls out to you: “But by the way, is the Old Testament a legend or should we believe it too? » We must therefore be ready to offer an intelligent discourse, combining faith and reason.
What are the main blocking points for a young person?
Boredom and repetition. When my daughters-in-law tell me that mass is daunting, I answer them: ” Yes, it’s true ! » It is a pedagogical and even theological error to pretend otherwise and to try to treat it as a problem to be solved. No mass, even the most “stylish”, can ever compete with entertainment.
In the elaboration of the liturgy and in our speeches, we must therefore stop fighting on this ground. Better to assume boredom (which is never an experience to flee) and try to find meaning elsewhere. I sometimes give this image: when we go to visit an elderly person, we sometimes get bored, but it makes sense, because we love them and our presence does them good.
There are still more or less boring masses…
Hence the importance of finding a lively parish frequented by other families, where the songs are cared for. Unfortunately, not everyone can. That said, it is the intention that counts, even in liturgy. We lived the last Easter vigil in a modest church. Aesthetically, it wasn’t extraordinary. But as they walked out, the 13- and 15-year-olds said they had been touched. They had heard the false notes like me, but they had especially felt that people had given their all, that they had gotten involved. A prayerful parish is felt, and the faith and love that emanates from it produces its effect.
But what can be opposed to the argument “I don’t want to”?
I think there is a certain sense of effort to be instilled. A teenager can understand that you don’t just do things when you want to do them. I also sometimes hear this comment: “It’s hypocritical to go to mass if you don’t really want to. » But from the moment when freely, calmly, one has established that having a regular meeting with Jesus was important for oneself, it is not hypocrisy to go there when the desire does not exist. is not. It’s commitment, loyalty. Sometimes we have nothing more to offer God than our mere physical presence. To be there, and not elsewhere, to do nothing else, is already prayer, love. The greatness of our spiritual events is not measured by how we feel. I think in Heaven we will realize the reverse relationship.
To read : Why I go to mass, letter to my goddaughter and her friends, by Benoit Fayol,
Mom, €12.90.