society
Franciscan Family Fraternity Movement
Spousal love is formed and enriched with a fraternal style. We talk about it with Lorenza and Diego, Claudia and Davide, between Oliviero, Paolina, Doriana and Michele.
What is the Franciscan Family Fraternity Movement?
Lorenza and Diego: The Franciscan Family Fraternity Movement (MFFF) was born from the inspiration to create an itinerary of permanent growth and enhancement of the vocation and spousal charism of the church and to cultivate conjugal and family spirituality following the Franciscan model. It owes its origin to the initiative of Brother Oliviero Svanera who in 2001 addressed to the young spouses, met at the Antonian Sanctuaries of Camposampiero (in the province of Padua), the proposal to start a Franciscan fraternity path for the spouses. It was then extended to engaged couples, with the aim of promoting a path of education in love. In September 2003, the Fraternity of Legami Spezzati was also launched, a formative proposal for families who are going through the experience of separation and divorce. The desire is to accompany the spouses throughout all seasons of life, showing how the Church is always present, even in moments of crisis for the couple.
How did you come into contact with the movement?
Lorenza and Diego: A couple of friends who were attending the two years of training in love in view of marriage told us about it and we were intrigued. In an era in which it always seems to chase time, the proposal of a two-year training course as boyfriends has sounded a healthy provocation in its small way. We have decided to start the journey, without having decided to get married yet. Those two years were a period of grace for us, we got to know each other in aspects that probably would have remained submerged in our daily relationship, we were able to mature our spirituality and weave relationships with other engaged and married couples. We have given an answer to a need that evidently lived in our hearts even if we did not have it completely clear.
What path does a family fraternity follow?
Claudia and Davide: We started as engaged while we were going through a period of uncertainty. The path of formation in love helped us to find our family path. The following year, immediately after the wedding, we accepted the proposal to continue a path of prayer and formation together with another ten couples who, like us, were leaving the same path. Our fraternity is made up of seven families. In all there are 16 fraternities that make up the MFFF. In this decade we have gone through the enthusiastic charge of the first years, the joy of giving children, the discovery of the role of parents, and also the effort of rediscovering ourselves on the way, not always at the same speed and not always in the same direction. For our couple, but we also think for the others, the intrinsic value of this path lies in the spiritual and formative growth illuminated by writing, and on the possibility of sharing family life paths in an oasis of free and free exchange, in which no there is judgment but only listening and closeness.
Do you also involve the children?
Claudia and Davide: Yes, they too live in the same environment of simplicity, fraternity and faith. For them we have built a path of faith parallel to ours, but suited to their abilities, and which they themselves show to appreciate very much. In fact, they are eagerly awaiting the meeting of the fraternity, sometimes even more than us adults, often tired of frantic living; despite the daily commitments, once a month we choose to “be there”, and the choice is a winning one, since we always return home full of life and spirit.
What aspects of Franciscan spirituality characterize the Movement?
Lorenza and Diego: In his Testament, St. Francis recognizes that brothers are a gift from God. He recognized in fraternity the sign of the Lord’s care for him. Starting from the experience of Francis, family fraternity finds its authentically evangelical inspiration, in the style of simplicity, minority, poverty, welcome, sharing, conviviality, differences, forgiveness, celebration and joy. We have given ourselves a rule that contains some traces for a spiritual journey that brings our lives closer to the Franciscan style by dealing with very concrete themes in the life of each family such as time and work, relationships and fraternal correction, celebration and gratuity, the crisis and the trial, sexuality and chastity.
How to deal with a crisis in the couple?
Pauline: The time preceding the decision to “start a family” is important to face the inevitable storms that life presents with solid foundations. But when the relationship is wobbling, what do you need to look at? Understand well if both partners have the same idea of family. Also to agree on a “compromise”. To identify if there is a willingness to question oneself, having clear the goal and the foundations of the couple and parental relationship. To be loyal with oneself and with the partner. A disposition to preventive forgiveness is necessary . It is necessary to cultivate a profound communication and avoid the lie to creep in. Immediately address any shadow area, avoiding that the “unspoken” deepens or aggravates, also asking for help from a third party, another couple or a mediator if dialogue is difficult, Solitude magnifies thoughts and difficulties, while communion leads to unexpected paths.
How does the Movement’s proposal help the family?
Friar Oliviero: Today a couple is subject to the risk of isolation. After marriage, the spouses mostly go to live in “apartment” contexts where contact with the ecclesial community is difficult or lacking. The couple / family does not find company, does not have spiritual and fraternal references, limiting themselves to guarding a “private” which in the end turns into solitude in the face of crises and difficulties. Family fraternity in this sense is a resource, a bed of relationships, it safeguards the spousal vocation, comforts it and assists it in need by creating and nourishing a healthy environment that is humanly and spiritually rich and accompanying the couple / families in the joys and efforts of life, going through the various ages of life. This is a fundamental aspect for me to which family ministry in general does not yet know how to respond.
What advice to support the journey of marriage?
Doriana and Michele: It is always difficult to give advice, but on the basis of our experience and the tests that the Lord has placed in front of us along the path made up to now, we can only say this: “Do not be afraid” and always walk together with many brothers and sisters! Marriage has been and is for us a place to live, to take care of, which requires continuous maintenance, adjustments necessary to accommodate new guests at the table who arrive and leave but always leaving indelible traces in the history of our family. We are immersed in a newspaper that asks us to be everywhere, always connected, always running, giving us fear in the future, feeling of inadequacy, constant competitiveness towards our neighbor: the family gives us nothing but gives us the opportunity to live with joy and with a healthy and happy outlook the adventures of every day.
The Franciscan Family Fraternity Movement for us it is an extension of all this, a place in which to live this horizon of meaning with brothers and sisters to share the extraordinary nature of the ordinary, in joy, but at the same time accepting with love and commitment the gift of the holy restlessness that we are called to we all live day by day.
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