In life there is a right time for everything, coming out included. That of Adam, 23, born in Morocco, arrived at a very young age in Italy and raised in a northern city, has not yet arrived. Determined and pragmatic spirit, after his studies and the diploma he found a job and although he still lives with his parents, to date he has not yet told them anything about what has lived in his heart for yearspreferring to continue to “play” the role of the straight son and devoted to Muslim traditions.
The truth, however, is another, dictated by a strong awareness both on the front of gender identity and on that of spirituality, which led him to detach himself also from the Muslim religion, on an internal level. “At a certain point you grow up and you understand that certain things don’t belong to you. At home I do as if nothing had happened, I still observe Ramadan, but in my heart there was no effort to recover a spirituality in which I do not see myself again, I simply accepted the situation “, she explains. As for her true sexual identity, «the actual awareness took place around the age of 17; before then I had never investigated the sentimental aspect and when I started experimenting it I understood what my preferences really were. After all, even as a child I was aware that they would go in that direction », she adds.
The awareness of his homosexuality has not yet been followed by a coming out. “I didn’t say anything to my family. In fact it is the thing that still hurts me the most now, because family is family and I know that sooner or later I will have to deal with it, that I will address the issue. In the meantime, I’ve already done this with some friends and luckily – except for a couple of cases at school – every time it has gone quite well. Perhaps also because I have always been open to people who I felt would also appreciate this part of me “, explains Adam who during his journey also approached the association. The Great Hummingbirdborn to offer a look at the LGBTQIA world that goes beyond the borders of Italy and be able to read and understand the differences and issues of sexual minorities in the world.
Speaking openly about one’s sexual identity becomes doubly complicated when, especially from a religious point of view, there is no tolerance. “Finding a glimpse into the Muslim reality is very, very difficult, explains Adam. «In the communities that live here in Italy, it is sometimes talked about but then the basic idea in the older generation remains very attached to the religious precepts, to the mentality that has always been there. Perhaps in the youngest, among the second generation boys, one can hope for a greater openness. Having two completely different cultural backgrounds makes them able to understand some things better and the percentage of tolerance is certainly higher than those of the first generation, with whom instead it is a losing battle ».
What Adam is experiencing today is unfortunately the story of many young people like him, originally from Morocco, where homosexuality is still a crime, but not only. To those who find themselves in this situation, he addresses precious suggestions, the same ones that he is putting into practice in his life. “Protect yourself, organize your coming out, but without taking risks: do everything with due precautions, stay safe. And then be activists: it is necessary to create a network for all those people who run away from home for having come out or to avoid situations in which they could be in danger. Aim for economic independence, because once achieved you can begin to “take flight”. Finally, assert yours national identity along with sexual identitybecause we also represent our countries and we have the right to give a voice even to fellow countrymen who cannot express themselves ».
The consequences of a coming out, in some cases, can in fact be dramatic: “There is not only the homelessness and exclusion, but the voice that runs within the communities with the risk that all this leads to episodes of violence. And if perhaps in big cities like Milan and Rome the risk is less, in small towns it can be very dangerous. For this there is also a need to do some protective work, in order to allow everyone to come out and make their voices heard. It will be a very long process but it is good to try ».
Not for nothing, positivity is one of the characteristics that make Adam a boy with a solid and active personality, aware that things can change and that the dreams that come true are always the result of many small steps taken day after day. This is also why he does not make long-term projects and always prefers to organize himself in the short term, but when asked how he imagines himself in ten years, he has a precise answer: “I imagine myself more stable and, above all, freer”.
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