Raphaël Buyse: “Giving yourself the right to exist: it’s not selfish”

One day or another, it happens to you: the key to your house is on your keyring, but by mistake, the latter has been deposited in your mailbox. And the key to the box is right on the keychain! Here you are, all sheepish, as if “locked out”…

So what to do? Playing with your fingers by nagging them at the risk of hurting them to try to catch the object of your desire? Try to fish it out with chewing gum attached to the end of a string like Bourvil trunk looter in the film A funny parishioner ? Force mailbox? There must undoubtedly be a solution… But for the moment, you are no longer at home: only at the door…

As prisoners

This anecdote experienced a few days ago gives me food for thought. It happens to us, at certain times, to be at the door of our life, to be locked outside of what we would like to be, condemned to stagnate on the threshold and to wait for a solution, like prisoners of a closed door. from the inside, with this painful feeling of not being able to do anything, of being blocked.

So life seems to stop: “I’ll never make it! » And I hear people say: « Everything is fine in my life, but despite everything, it’s not going well », « I’m not happy as I could be. Then the stress takes over, and sometimes the guilt of only being there. Mind, body and heart are dissociated. And desires are suffocated under the weight of ill-being.

The key is in us

Where is the key that will allow us to live and strongly inhabit our existence? It is often within us, but it remains inaccessible to us. To seize it, seek to take a step back, remove the blinders that prevent us from welcoming today and look at what presents itself to us beyond appearances.

Dare to listen to yourself, even if we were told that you shouldn’t listen to yourself too much. Choose to face the events that happen to us and the world around us. Never run away from life. Do not deny yourself. Taking sides for yourself, giving yourself the right to exist: it’s not selfish. Accept our mistakes and consider them as steps.

The solution actually lies within! The key to our future is hidden within us: the doors of our life always open from within. But sometimes you can’t do it alone. Nothing else to do then than to accept that a hand is stretched out to help us open the lock of our “mailbox” and take back the hidden key of our life.

To find life

Jesus was an expert in this! In the Gospel of Saint John, it is said that one day he strolled under the porticoes of a swimming pool which was said to be miraculous, a few steps from the temple of Jerusalem (John 5). A crowd of sick people were hanging around waiting for a cure, no doubt a little like others go to Lourdes today.

He saw a man that day who had been crippled for no less than 38 years. Prevented from approaching the Temple because of his state of health, he was there, resigned: he asked for nothing more. He lived out of his life, as best he could.

Moved, Jesus approached him and asked him: Do you want to heal? The poor man didn’t even answer: Of course I want it ! Why do you think I’m here? This man was lost. It looked like he was on the threshold of his life, without a key to inhabit it fully. He only said to Jesus: I have nobody. To find life again, this man complained of being alone and counted only on others who, at this hour, were not there for him.

The power of Jesus

He had waited 38 years for life to come from another. He lacked his own will, and this is what Jesus perceived when he said to him: Do you want ? In fact, it was the will to live of this man who was paralyzed. Jesus simply said to him: Get up, take your stretcher, and walk! »

That day, Jesus did not heal all the sick who were there, but he revived a man’s will to live. He gave back to this man who thought he was finished the key to his life that was deep inside him… Then the man got up: to give back the keys to an abundant life, that is the power of Jesus, and it is often ours too.

Raphael Buyse is a priest of the diocese of Lille. He is the author ofOtherwise, God and D’Otherwise, the gospel (Bayard) and Only fools can be wise (Salvator).

Raphaël Buyse: “Giving yourself the right to exist: it’s not selfish”