How can you be sure to meet men who share your values when you are a religious and practicing woman? Two women confided in their relationship to romantic encounters, their expectations but also their fears.
False beliefs surrounding female practitioners are legion, especially regarding their love life. To clarify many of the elements circulating in certain media or on social networks, I met two women of Muslim faithsMyriam and Sonia, respectively 22 and 28 years old.
The first is in Master 1 in communication and wants to become a journalist reporter. She has always lived in France, his mother is Algerian and Muslim and his father is French and non-believer. Myriam was raised in the very strong Muslim culture in her mother’s family, without asking too many questions about it. It was only last year that she really questioned her faith.
With my 17-year-old little sister, we had this click at the same time and she also started to take an interest in it. We learned to do certain practices together and since then we have been pulling each other up. Besides, spiritual learning is endless, it is very exhilarating. Today it governs many things in my life and it is very close to my heart.
For her part, Sonia is 28 years old and has been a marketing project manager for three years. Both of her parents are Muslim, and she grew up in Morocco, a culturally Muslim country.. She arrived in Paris to study 11 years ago, then she had the click far from her native lands. Until then, she explains to me that it was cultural, before becoming profoundly spiritual.
It was only around the age of 20 that I really understood why we did certain things, until then it was cultural, then it became more spiritual. That’s what I call me: religious maturity. I am of the Muslim faith, quite practicing, so it is something that is close to my heart.
How are romantic encounters when you are a Muslim woman?
When I ask them if they would be able to take the first step, their answers are quite categorical. For Sonia, if the person is in their circle of close friends, why not, but if it is a stranger met in the public space, she prefers to abstain. Indeed, if the person is not a Muslim, it will come to nothing, and it is impossible to perceive religious beliefs at a glance.
An alternative that allows women to take their love destiny into their own hands, and this is worth whatever his worship, without fear of any judgment, are the dating applications. For instance, hawaya offers a fun and secure digital space, which allows users to be sure to meet men who share the same cultural values.
How can the application be secured you ask? It’s very simple, each profile is validated with selfie verification technology, which helps to prove the authenticity of each user. There is also moderators who are very responsive to exchanges ! If you have any problem during a conversation, you can use the report, or even send them a screenshot. In addition, it is very easy to display from the start what you are looking for. And then, the applications make it possible to address the lack of opportunity difficult to provoke in real life.
Critics of these kinds of apps will say that it’s a consumerist way of looking at love and that you have to be surprised. Others will still say that they want to cut to the chase, and that life has already surprised them enough. I imagine that everyone finds noon at their doorstep, but difficult to form an opinion without having tried.
Test the Hawaya dating app
Myriam was in a relationship with only one boy when she was 17 years old. It was a time when she describes herself as less “enlightened” about her spirituality and her boyfriend was an atheist. This relationship gave him the opportunity to notice that not sharing the same cultural values caused discord.
When a sad event occurred in the life of his boyfriend and Myriam tried to reassure him by telling him that it was a stroke of fate, that it had to happen like this, the boy took it badly: “You don’t want my good , You do not understand ! “. Myriam was too young to realize that beyond temperament, faith was already beginning to dictate his way of approaching his life.
Today, the first criterion during my meetings it is really the faith. Then I pay attention to the rest: the physique, the mentality… From the moment I know that the person is Muslim, then I can really get to know them and perhaps consider something.
Sonia has never had a relationship in her life, however she has already tried to meet people. She has played the blind date game twice. Friends have organized meetings with friends of theirs who are single and Muslims with whom it could have stuck. But the spark was not present in either date. Sonia is convinced that when you meet the right person, you know it, there is no need to force things. Subsequently, she decided to test dating apps:
I like old school stories, where you meet someone on the train or at work. I had registered on an application reserved for Muslims, with a modern interface that immediately attracted me. I had two dates that resulted in about four physical dates in all. They were nice, polite, cute and all. But there was no click, or feeling more than that. They were two quite different characters. The first was very free, he didn’t practice much. He was fasting, but that’s all. It’s a bit light practice… Besides, it’s very rare to meet Muslims who don’t do it. On the other hand, prayer will require a little more rigor, more attachment. He drank occasionally so it didn’t suit me. Besides, he was a little haughty at times, he had done well in his life on the side, so it showed when he spoke. As for the second, I think it was a little different in the sense that he wanted to have a little more fun. He wasn’t looking for a relationship that had to become serious, he was living a bit hand to mouth so we talked a bit and then it fizzled out.
What are Muslim women waiting for in love
Moreover, the criteria that Sonia and Myriam look for in a man are quite simple and similar:
Kind, respectful. He must be at least educated, well brought up, but also have an academic background. I don’t care if he’s rich or poor and I wish he had a sense of humor too. Afterwards, I walk by feeling, whether it’s Muslims and Jews or Christians or others, if you don’t have the feeling, you know it. I want to spend my whole life with the person I would relate to, so it has to happen naturally.
For the two women, the “cultural” criterion is decisive. When they meet someone, they project themselves into marriage. If the person is not of the same religious denomination, the marriage cannot be validated…Furthermore, faith is something they want to share with their husbands, in order to pass it on to their children later.
Conversion is a bit of a long journey, but if I know that the person has this desire and is sincere, why not. But usually it’s not sincere, people convert for marriage, but then there’s no practice. It would really be necessary that the person is already interested in it or that the course is already engaged.
As for the elimination criteria, they are also rather identical for the two women:
I’m conservative about some things. But for example, a man who wants his wife to stay at home to take care of the children, for me, that’s not possible because I have ambitions. I still have a fairly modern vision. This does not prevent me from practicing as it should, according to a basic framework. But I couldn’t necessarily be with a man who sees himself as the head of the family and who makes all the decisions. There has to be a balance.
I come back a bit to the principle of conservatism. Many men hide behind this to say, “my wife does all the housework.” Some have not necessarily understood the principle. Because in Islam, the woman is literally on a pedestal, it is said that paradise is under her feet. So women should be cherished, we take care of them and we don’t try to make maids of them.
“I have already been educated, I don’t need a second father, I know my limits”
Today you have the right to work and do what you want so there is no submission. Absolutely 100% of the veiled women I know have chosen it out of conviction and they are happy with it. They are teachers, doctors and people from my family or those around me, so that does not prevent them from having a completely fulfilled life. This submission exists, but it is not my case and it is not something that I see in my everyday life. I am very feminist, I grew up with two brothers, so I will not let myself be trampled.
For the two women, the extremist images conveyed exist to create fear and this applies to all cults. As if a woman could not make the choice to become involved spiritually on her own, she would necessarily have been coerced by a man.
In fact, it makes me laugh when we say that, because ultimately, these are people who are not even informed about the culture. I just want to tell them to educate themselves, to go talk to practicing people and ask them the question directly. They will see that a Muslim woman is absolutely not submissive. Women who wear the headscarf, in general, wear it by choice for the most part. In Islam there is no submission, we are only subject to God, not to any man.
Choose a way of life oriented towards spirituality, whatever the object of his worship is not an obstacle to making romantic encounters. There are many ways to meet men who share the same faith interests. Moreover, regardless of the culture we embrace, this does not prevent us from having feminist values and from living our commitments as everyone wishes.
Are you of the Muslim faith? Why Choose Hawaya Dating App:
Besides the fact that this very melodious name means my love in Arabic, hawaya makes it possible to make online dating compatible and adapted to the life that Muslim women have chosen. The men on hawaya share:
- The same way of life and the same vision of the couple
- The desire to build a serious relationship
- The same cultural beliefs and values
Meetings are held with respect and everyone’s consent, and in a secure manner thanks to moderators.
Read also :
What does it mean to be a believer and pass on your faith to your children in 2022?
Credits: Uriel Mont/Pexels – Photo by Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels