At some unspecified point in history – difficult to pinpoint the exact time x – we all became a bit convinced that the family had become an impossible mission. At least once in our life, we have in fact looked at over ten-year wedding anniversaries, celebrated by grandparents or relatives, with the same curiosity with which we look at an archaeological find of an era that no longer exists.
Instead, the family is still the same, today as it was then, that is, “a mystery”, as Beatrice Fazi explains in this interview. Actress and TV presenter – she is the face of Tv2000 for the programs Forever and Blessed are you – also known for being the unforgettable Melina of A Doctor in the Family, Fazi recounted her conversion experience in the now famous book, A New Heart (Piemme): a story that is intertwined, in a double knot, with that of her family, as if her call could only have the face of her husband, Pierpaolo, and her four children, Marialucia, Fabio, Giovanni and Maddalena . You have also just finished recording a new project dedicated to the construction of the common good and conceived by Gigi De Palo: a series of video lessons on the social doctrine of the Church that will soon be published on the immischiati.it portal.
Today many couples prefer to live together. Why is getting married still worth it?
«The added value of marriage is that you make a choice. It’s like charting a route: you are leaving on a journey and you decide that, heck !, you want to get there! Yes, that’s right: I also put “cabbage!” because this is what is missing, that is the so-called “cost what it costs”. By now she embarks on it thinking “I don’t know ‘ndo I’m going, what do I do, maybe I’ll leave you behind”, to put it in the Roman style. But no: you leave with me and promise me that you will stay by my side until the end. We will reach the goal perhaps massacred, lame, lame, with the sunstroke, but you will remain beside me. This is the beautiful sense of marriage, which makes you stay there, by his side, even when you have the impression of fighting against the windmills… I speak from experience because it happened to me that I wanted to give up everything and it will probably happen again. The Church, at least the one I met, never told me “you have to do this”, much less that marriage would be a simple journey, but it always reassured me by saying: “If you wish, if you let yourself be carried away , you can reach that beautiful destination ”».
In moments of crisis, what does it do?
«The secret is not to look ahead because, in fact, you already know the goal. Instead, we must look back and admire the road traveled up to that moment: every time I do it, I see a wonderful path. Of course, on it is my blood, and also that of my husband and my children, because it is tough and we are still learning to be parents and my children to be children. Love is a mystery. But, damn it, if it’s a good adventure… ».
More and more couples, perhaps burned by the past, would like to marry while continuing to live in separate homes. Do you risk losing something by doing so?
“Part of me understands that choice. There are days when I myself would move on the spot because, with four children and a husband, my personal spaces practically do not exist. Living together, however, is a gift because it gives you a look at the other that you would not otherwise have: no woman will ever know my husband as I do who live with him. Sharing destroys the masks and shows you the other person for who they are, in their frailties, and this is the only way to truly love them: every day you always violate his intimacy and he yours. We are both defenseless. Yet we love each other and move on. So, yes: it’s hard to live together, but it’s worth it. “
Usually the couple is spiritually accompanied before marriage. How important would it be to have a guide even after the big day?
«It is essential because the first child of the couple is… the couple, as the Gentile spouses of the Bethany Training Center like to repeat. Before marriage, we think about pure theory, then we move on to practice… and then it’s you, with your code and your story, who have to measure yourself with the new life together. Spiritual direction is therefore a precious crutch: a support that takes into account who you are, as well as the season of life you are living. The spiritual direction that I receive now that I am 50 is completely different from that of 20 years ago because I have changed, and with me also my problems ».
What is his spiritual father called?
“He is a very shy man, who prefers not to be mentioned. He is a country priest, as well as an exorcist, with whom I understand deeply. Among other things, he understands Neapolitan well and is crazy about my pastiera! (laughs, ed) ».
The practical challenge of motherhood is well known and consists in reconciling work and private life. But is there also a spiritual challenge, that is, one or more “goals of the heart” with which every mother is called to measure herself?
“To begin with, children are the first people who force me to put my ego aside. Another great challenge is learning to love them without projecting my expectations on them and, above all, not making children become an ornament of the cult of myself, something to be proudly displayed. But then there are also spiritual challenges that are reflected in society. For example, family is the first place where you train to take care of your neighbor. A banal gesture like putting not only your own cup in the dishwasher, but also those that others forget in the sink, teaches you to perceive yourself as a member of a community. This is why I get mad as hell when my children don’t do it … ».
Despite having a large family, she juggles very well between private and working life. What are your next commitments?
“I have just finished shooting the film One Hundred Hearts, dedicated to the figure of Blessed Mother Clelia Merloni, founder of the Congregation of the Apostles of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. I play her successor mother Marcellina Viganò, a nun with a more pragmatic approach and an overwhelming sense of responsibility. Then in November Le Stremate will return to popular acclaim at the Golden theater in Rome, while in December I will be at the 7 Off Theater in Rome with In the name of the mother by Erri De Luca, adapted by Michele La Ginestra ».
Age 50 years
Profession Actress and TV presenter
Family Married, she has 4 children
Wedding ring He has a spiritual father
A rich and profound journey
«Mum, wife, actress, in search of a new heart»: Beatrice Fazi defines herself in this way. As she recounts in the autobiographical book Un cuore nuovo (Piemme), her life has been a life of research. Today’s radiant and smiling face is the result of a long human and spiritual journey that began 20 years ago. It was in fact in 2000 that the actress and TV presenter felt called to a new life in which faith had and has central importance. A journey lived side by side with her husband Pierpaolo and supported by some significant spiritual figures such as Don Fabio Rosini, creator of the catechesis of the “10 commandments”, and the current spiritual father, who prefers to remain anonymous.