Carla Merino: “Living as a couple is very difficult, almost all relationships are destined to disappear”

Writer and journalist. carla merino (Vitoria, 1977) –Carla from La La for all those who read the press, which is how he signs his columns published in this house– debuts with What do you care if I love you? (Planet). A novel at times tender, at times funny, which narrates the friendship story of two women –Spain and Lulú– who have known each other for a bitter moment of loss and a glut of heartbreak.

a glimpse of meeting in El Retiro park which becomes a deep fellowship that leads them to live –and make us participate– surreal stories where the Madrid scene with the exciting years of the Transition or the whirlwind of colors.

The name of Spain comes for the woman Paco Threshold, claims not to be classist, but she is an enemy of boredom. She believes that living as a couple is very complicated because relationships “they are called to end” and furthermore states that prefers a pimp than a cheesy because in this life you can be anything but “cheesy” and “heavy”.

You mention that you have a somewhat unique biography. Carla, tell me a secret of your life that you can reveal.

There is nothing secret about my biography, but something that many people don’t know about me is that I don’t have a political ideology, except for mistrust in general. I have voted for almost all the parties and I would never give my heart to any of them. As a columnist and writer I am interested in the human behavior of different social groups and individuals. And, of course, humor, because it is the basis of tolerance and respect.

You are from Victoria. It has always been said that the people of the north have much more allure, as the French say, than the rest of Spain. Do you think it’s true?

No. What happens is that heat brings out the worst in people, in general, and cold always protects against stylistic and even psychological tackyness.

(laughs)

There is a character in the novel called Spain, just like Paco Umbral’s wife. Is it because of her or is it just a coincidence? I ask.

It has to do, yes, when I found out the name of Umbral’s wife I was captivated. And that the brand Spain has always given me exactly the same, you will never see me carrying a flag or a dachshund with a red leash. So, I don’t know, maybe that’s why I found it fascinating that this lovely woman was called that. The Spain of my novel is very different. She is an iconoclast who was born into a Francoist and Catholic home and breaks away from all conventions like a beast.

Precisely I chatted with Spain a few months ago, she said that she was always surrounded by intellectuals before whom she preferred to be silent. Would it be a position that you would take or are you more of choosing to intervene and participate?

The truth is that I am not talkative and less in the first moments of relationships. I really like listening to those who have something to say (verbally or non-verbally) and I can do it for hours. Of course, I have no tolerance for boredom, if I find myself surrounded by boring people, I carry out a conversational coup d’état because… there is every pest…

You say that we have lost freedoms, which ones? If we are supposed to have won them or, well, at least that’s what they say.

We have won many and lost some. The consumerism and vanity of our generation are a prison, and also intolerance. We live in a disgustingly puritanical society despite its promiscuity. All the fanaticisms that we can observe around us take away freedoms and knowledge. On the other hand, I understand freedom as a spiritual ability (or a grace) that is very difficult to obtain, now or 500 years ago.

What do you advise to the woman or man who is not reciprocated, does the one who follows her get it?

Yes, but with nuances and dignity. There is nothing more attractive than a self-confident person without complexes; but there is nothing more intolerable than a heavy or heavy. Liking is an art where countless variables intervene, that’s why the equation behaves as it pleases.

Do you like the Spain of before? The one with the corduroy jackets, the impromptu parties with people from all social classes in the houses of the Barrio de Salamanca, where, suddenly, Frank Sinatra, Lola Flores and Fernando Fernán Gómez were present.

It is difficult to answer this question, I am from 77 and I have lived my time. Machismo and classism make me sick, however, it gives me the feeling that before people were less cheesy and less prudish –although they went to mass more–, more fun and improvised more. The 21st century is a temple to outrage and a society of fearful people. You can not live with fear!

The Madrid Movida is also portrayed in the book. Is it overrated or is it as disruptive as everyone makes us believe?

It may have been overrated, but I don’t think it’s bad. Rebellion is necessary and youthful energy must question everything, pulverize conventions. After that kind of revolution we keep the artists, and we have to give them the applause and attention they deserve.

Here in this novel there is spirituality, people who are not there, but who accompany us along the way. Do you believe in those things?

Spirituality there is a lot. As an author myself, I was an atheist until I was 40 and then I was baptized Protestant. However, I am very unbelieving: I don’t believe in ghosts, or horoscopes, or astrology, or any magical thought… Not even in the human race… Venezia, the protagonist who is dead, is a literary resource that provides the novel omniscient narrator, fun and surrealism.

You have said that the novel arises from the relationship and experience you have with a person who worked at home as an intern for a few years. Are you embarrassed that, for commenting on this, they can brand you as classist or frivolous?

When we had two, three and four small children at home, working like donkeys, of course we had professional help; but not many years ago. Parents must be clear that a child who downloads a mobile application can perfectly put the dishwasher. Since they had minimal control over their limbs and minds, I educated them all and we functioned as a collaborative village.

I am not classist. As for frivolity, I used to practice it healthily, in on/off mode, but Covid –and the years– have turned me into a hermit farmer who only wants the company of trees, dogs and some –few– human beings .

Helping you at home, especially if you have a partner, means social peace, don’t you think?

Living with a family or as a couple is very difficult. For us women it is difficult to manage machismo, that of others and our own – we come from 2,000 years of inertia that is very difficult to get rid of. And then, we all have different standards of quality and perfection. Therefore, you have to lower the level of neuroticism as it is, exercise, sex, therapy, love and humor. However, it will be very difficult, most relationships are destined to disappear.

Barely a week ago, the University of Comillas organized some conferences given by characters from history. Isabel la Católica speaks of “misunderstood female leadership”, and poses a question: “Do you think that all women before were servants or slaves? Nobody gave me anything, I won my own battles. I have not inherited my kingdom, I became queen. What do you think?

Totally, they were not slaves before, nor are we free now. And another thing that is rarely talked about: the slavery of the masculine gender! Who says they are free? According to what parameters?

Hey, tell me, please, what bores you supremely about today’s Spain?

I’m really bored by conceited people, those who don’t stop talking about themselves –or extensions of themselves, like their children– without an iota of humor, that is, self-criticism. I am bored by the prudishness, which is also pose, of this Government and its acolytes; vulgarity bores me, timid people, petty attitudes, clichés; I’m bored by evil, cowardice and ugliness. Sadly, I have to say that there are few things in today’s society that I find attractive, authentic, that’s why I seclude myself in the countryside.

A very intellectual woman, does she make a better match with an educated person who practices a bit of sporadic thugdom?

I don’t know… I have a principle: “A thousand times before a badass than a cheesy”. Having said that, it is very difficult for a very intellectual woman to find a partner with anyone, because one’s flesh opens up… I don’t know who said that to be a good couple you have to know everything… or know nothing at all.

@MariaVillardon



Carla Merino: “Living as a couple is very difficult, almost all relationships are destined to disappear”