‘Beyond spiritual narcissism’, a book by Maribel Rodríguez

“It is a great temptation to express oneself in the name of God! It is perhaps a dimension in which vanity can reach the greatest excesses and reveal the need for man to divinize himself to compensate for his shortcomings, or to dominate others, in the name of of God”. Maribel Rodriguez

This, without a doubt, is one of those less treated topics and, possibly, still considered taboo when it comes to the different aspects or dimensions of religiosity. In this way, a void is produced that remains without consideration, precisely because it seems that it does not exist. However, the subject of spiritual narcissismor those people who have an extremely inflated ego, is still a matter of the first order.

This is because this type of profile is usually presented as someone enormously interested in the things of God, the church or everything that belongs to the religious group. But this concern is not genuine, in fact, it is about building an entire character around himself and that from outside his interiority he shows an excessive interest, even for the people or members of the congregation.


Precisely because of the intensity and the apparent disinterest that this moves him, they are introduced not without being seen, but on the contrary, being clearly visible, showing his character created and sustained by a whole series of very dark motivations.

Of course, we all have and can fall into a type of narcissism and, therefore, we would do very well to be attentive to its first manifestations, but what is being dealt with here in particular is a type of narcissism of medium intensity and above all pathological, which leaves behind a trail of pain and chaos. This person is usually received and perceived as someone of tremendous spirituality and, therefore, for the common people who relate to him, it is very difficult to detect. Furthermore, it is often held in high esteem, as a guide to what a true believer should be.

She is passionate when she speaks, puts all that belongs to the church and to God at the forefront of her interests, and seems tireless in her work to achieve what she has set out to achieve. If any of your congregation or group members raise the alarm by having a first encounter, or even being a little smarter and realizing that some things don’t add up, you’re in for a bitter second experience when you talk to some of them. members or even responsible for what was warned.

Then you will realize that you are quite alone in your assessments. This is because these other believers are usually dazzled by the figure and the words of that priest, pastor or leaderpassing in this way to defend it as if the one who has realized that something is not right entered the field of criticism or even slander.


Maribel Rodriguez

Once the narcissist is installed in his place of power and predominance, he will go forward in his proposals no matter what happens and whoever falls. While he is doing so, he will show signs of a supposed humility where there will be phrases like: “I am also human and I am wrong” or, “if you do not see it that way, I am here to listen to your opinions”. But when you go to him to tell him that you do not agree with a certain point of view or option, the narcissist will not accept it and at first he will express it with words of a certain modesty, but if you insist the tone will change until the extreme of threatening some disciplinary measure within the congregation.

At the same time, he will put the rest of those responsible for the group on notice so that they consider him dangerous. Over time some others will go through this same trance and surely they will only have the option of leaving the congregation to safeguard their own family, and it is possible that over the years that group or congregation will suffer a division, some will remain with the narcissist , are his unconditional supporters, and many others will leave the group never to return, leaving many of them injured.

It will be an experience in which tears and bewilderment will not be lackingThat is why it is so important to know how to identify the spiritual narcissist, since it is also in places of leadership where they feel especially attracted by their inner deviation. Undoubtedly, this profile is due to a wound due to lack of love, possibly originating in the most tender childhood, but in order to correct it they have opted for the darker side.

As Maribel Rodríguez tells us, the extreme spiritual narcissist is practically unrecoverable and many specialists refuse to even treat him, so the danger that one of them could enter religious groups is very likely since it is there, in places of power, where they feel best.

All this that I am pointing out here is perfectly reflected in this book, but I have to say that I have not had to go to it as a source to write these words, since I myself have witnessed a congregation with these characteristics. I also know of narcissists who are leading other communities but these are no longer close to me.

The book is divided into four chapters with their respective subdivisions, each of these chapters being called as follows:

Approaching narcissism
Spiritual narcissism and its pitfalls
surviving narcissism
Is there life beyond spiritual narcissism?

In the first, the concept is presented and described in a general way and what we mean when we say that someone is narcissistic.. The author also draws our attention to the fact that deep down, or maybe not so much, we all have something of it. The problem, however, does not lie here, since if it is controlled there is no major problem, otherwise it can become a pathology. Here is one of the keys to the book: the differentiation between a type of narcissism with which we live, since it is part of us -but which must always be kept under control- and the one that comes to control the same person causing intense suffering both in her and in all those around her. This pathological narcissism translates into an oversized ego, an unreal concept of oneself that is perceived as someone superior to whom one must not contradict, on the contrary, one must obey.

The second chapter goes deeply into the subject since it goes from general considerations to specific ones, this is what is typical of the spiritual narcissist. This chapter is very relevant, since it provides us with keys and descriptions to identify a narcissist, and thus be able to escape from his traps if we meet one. At the same time, due to the lack of light -and his refusal to open his eyes- of the narcissist, what is contained in this chapter is always a call for the reader to examine himself, to consider if he has any of these features.

Moving on to the third of the chapters, it is like the first part of a whole that would form it with the fourth. is now when the author gives us a healing look, both for those trying to survive one of these traumatic experiences, as well as providing keys to make the narcissist himself get out of his inner hell. The narcissist lives a fiction, he is afraid to recognize who he really is and for this he creates an almost impenetrable character that he will try to maintain at all costs.


spiritual narcissism

On page 158 Maribel Rodríguez tells us, citing R. Glenn and Darrell Puls in the last part, the following:

“In the spiritual and religious worlds, it seems especially relevant to identify these narcissistic people and their behaviors because, if they are not identified, they are more likely to harm, contaminate or influence the generation of dynamics that harm those around them. That is why it is It is critical that leaders of religious institutions “be aware of the symptoms of people with narcissistic personality disorder and act accordingly when evaluating their pastors or looking for a new one.”

The sad thing about the situation is no longer the reality that these types of people are directing congregations and irreparably damaging them, but that books like this one will be a kind of cry from the desert to which not many people will listen, but at the same time, precisely for this reason it is so necessary. Congregations immersed in their dynamics seem not to realize or not be able to wake up to the reality that some of their leaders do not seek their good, or their spiritual maturity, or heal their wounds, quite the opposite. They want power, pre-eminence, control, to humiliate when necessary and to manipulate mercilessly. Furthermore, when someone raises the alarm, he will verify not only that he is alone, but also that he is isolated.


Daffodil

I dare to say that anyone who wants or is proposed for a position of responsibility in a congregation or group should go through a psychological evaluation to find out if they are in a position to take that place.. But I already know that such a proposal will not prosper, since this seems “very unspiritual” or even a kind of affront to that person. Too bad, since a lot of pain and suffering would be saved, but for everyone who has already gone through this trance or is immersed in it, so that it will not be more painful, I recommend the book Beyond spiritual narcissism by Maribel Rodríguez for how clearly this topic is presented, the effort made by the author to capture and discover it, and the urgent need for material like this to reach as many people as possible.

In addition, he comes to fill that gap that he pointed out at the beginning, thereby demonstrating courage and his interest in helping to discover these facts. This does not mean that he also has a compassionate gaze for so many victims who, after leaving this type of group, may feel dirty, naive, manipulated and have very low self-esteem due to the abuse they have received. For this reason, I highly recommend reading this book. and, once the potential reader does so, be able to recommend it in order to clarify a little more all this dark and, on many occasions, perverse dimension of the existence of spiritual narcissists and how they live among us. .


spiritual narcissism

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‘Beyond spiritual narcissism’, a book by Maribel Rodríguez